I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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