Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
