Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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