He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
