Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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