when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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