He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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