OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize