Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize