I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
