I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My breasts were aching with rage.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
