I think I died a long time ago.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
