You're so nebulous sometimes
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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