how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
