I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
