i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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