dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
