what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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