walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
