Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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