I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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