I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize