he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you will always have a special place in my vag
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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