We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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