she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
