please come you make the beer taste better
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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