I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
