Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
