Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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