Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
