her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
