i don't like sucking hair
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
