exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
