My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
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