Apparently you make a good broom.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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