We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize