My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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