There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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