ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
