I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
