I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
