True but thats because hes a fetus.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize