My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize