Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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