so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you would pick up someone in the library
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
