i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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