So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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