i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
