I puked a lego.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
