im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
