I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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