whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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