sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
