u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
