I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
