Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You're so nebulous sometimes
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
