My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize