Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
