I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
