Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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