Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
